What Would Bob Do?

time builds bridges to connect lost souls
i am a lost soul disconnected from the world waiting for my time

think of me when i'm not there
because i'll never be back there again
i've floated away much too far this time
i've given up on you and this and what they call love
it's not real it never was where is this to go
when everything ends?

tired of loves that beat on me
tired of loves that kick me around
knocks my breath out
instead of taking my breath away

An Unrhymed Ode to Nicaragua

I

Sail towards the sea

I

Touch the colors of the sunset

I

Inch towards infinity

I

will never return

To see the smoke filled city

I

have been sucked into a cave

I

Permeate

Freedom

Find

Seduction

Give

Everything

Take

Nothing

I am

In Nicaragua in a Nicaragua kind of mood

I

don't deny

that in me

my heart swells

I see people living but I confuse them for the dead

And You Wanted to Be Like Him

You wanted to be like him. You wanted all the earth's oysters for yourself. To guard and protect, to watch over me and them.

You wanted to be like him -- to breathe the air he breathes, think the thoughts he thinks, taste his blood, his sweat and hardship toils.

You wanted to be like him but you didn't have the tools to build his life.

You didn't want to work so hard.

You'd lay in the sun like a lazy dog, you'd sweat away the afternoon, fast talk distract talk not a real kind of reliable man, not like his talk.

You tried to borrow his thunder but you stole his happiness, and you slipped in an alley without thinking how
your
fall
affected me as I waited inside patiently.

You broke both our necks, ripped our cords, smashed the glass that delicately held our fragile youth. I had to bag and composted it with the trash.

You wanted so much to be like him -- so you swam harder than him, and faster. You climbed higher than him, and steeper.

You wanted more and more and more until like a violent flower in the sun you wilted in the wind.

You fell so hard so fast the only one to catch you was yourself, and even you let go in the end.

Long Time

It has been nearly 5 months since I have written for this blog but I think I'll return to it -- inspired by the necessity to understand all the world around me. Through I'll never understand all the world. I'm so saddened by the BP oil spill...the world just seems totally out of control.

Today I got a new door -- energy ebbing and flowing to my house. I watched as my uncle spent the afternoon chopping down the old red and white striped painted one, now with the missing panel, and harnessed a new door, more sturdy and all white. There was a tiff about the color of the new door. I wanted John to paint it as a duplicate of the old one. I wasn't sure what my uncle and my mom wanted but everyone had an opinion. For a moment, I felt like an animal covered in oil and I felt like I was dying. Awakened with energy I sped off in my car towards the Vietnamese restaurant. Anticipating traffic I drove faster, with none of the road I arrived like a demon, possessed by my own anger and emotions. Like a wretched beast on my shoulder clawing at the steering wheel I shuddered to my mother, I was off like a lighting bolt towards the sky, reaching out for help.

I arrived to eat and parked in the back of the restaurant, reluctant to enter and eat alone. Disappointed in myself with a sense of repetition and regret, I sat by the front and hesitated to look around. The food arrived as usual and the children's voices filled the air, but faded were their gentle sounds as I ate slow and talked fast on the phone with John.

The day progressed better - I heeded John's advice and persevered.

Love
Jaime xoxo

Credit: The Estate of Philippe Halsman/Laurence Miller Gallery

LOUIS VUITTON ADVERTISEMENTS

Francis Ford and Sofia Coppola
The Neverfull bag -- my bag
"Inside every story there is a beautiful journey"

San Fransisco: filmed days before the Quake and Fire in 1906

Diego en mi pensamiento

Diego on my mind...

This is my favorite painting by Frida because for me it enbodies the torture of love; it stays on your mind, it is lasting and at times feels unattainable in another realm of the universe.

Moving far away (in my mind ((for now))

In my mind I'm moving far away
Someplace with a dog
And in the sun
With lots of cute dresses
And sunglasses!

I wish I had friends like these!!!

Frida and Diego

Such a beautiful movie of an inspiring person. When I watch Frida I feel the earth through her eyes.

This home movie film was taken in 1939 at the Kahlo/Rivera residence La Casa Azul (The Blue House) in Coyoacan, Mexico. The man behind the camera was Nickolas Muray... Kahlo's friend and lover.